😔 'I Could Have Done Better❣️'

💜👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 "PARENTHOOD, the scariest "HOOD" you'll ever go through!" (t-u - 'Pinterest' / 'Pishposh Baby')❣️Since the day that, I posted November's blog-post, as usual, I've been, thinking and praying, on what subject December's post should be❣️It seems, based on my thoughts and various things, which, have been put "before" me that, it is going to be about "going back" in my life's journey, and, reflecting upon some of the reasons WHY I should have appreciated my parents (both, of whom, are departed), more than I did, whenever, they were living❣️😔 Yesterday, after I voted, as I was on my way to town, right before I drove by the 'park-n-ride, where, I saw my mother for the last time (on earth), LeAnn Rime 's song, 'How Do I Live Without You,' began playing❣️😁😭 I try to listen to Christian music most of the time, but, because, I'm not "SUPERSPIRITUALWOMAN," (hehehe!), sometimes, I listen to other genres❣️I'm sorry to disappoint you❣️Pray for me❣️😘😂🙏🏼 I, also, realize that, the lyrics are about a woman and a man, however, the chorus can apply to anyone (in my opinion - ha!)❣️🎶🖤 Anyway, that song "hit home"❣️I honestly don't know how to live without my mother❣️💔🙏🏼 And, although our parents were imperfect, and, they had their struggles, they were both "kind hearted" people❣️My perception of them, as, individuals, a couple, and, as my parents, is much different, now that, I'm older, and, they are both deceased (dad's been gone 13 years, and, mom, since 8/4/19) ❣️It is VERY clear to me NOW that, much of what they did in life was motivated by their love of, me, my sister, our families, and, other loved ones❣️It brought them tremendous gladness to bless us❣️With this being December's post, naturally, Christmas memories of our family "come to my mind," and, OH MY, did our parents ever LOVE to show us (children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren) their love for us during the holidays❣️They delighted in making everything, special and magical, for us❣️I'm SO grateful for the wonderful memories of their many loving gestures to bless us, their family, specifically at Christmas time❣️🎄"Come to think of it," our entire "world" (close family - both sets of, grandparents, and, aunts and uncles, paternal and maternal) was like our parents, in this loving way, especially, in, caring for and spoiling, Tina and me❣️Besides, Tina and I, there is only one of those ten, DEAR souls, who, mean SO MUCH to us, still living, and, she is our aunt Betty, our father's sister, who, is one of our "surrogate mothers," whom, has Dementia, and, is living in a lovely retirement facility❣️They ALL made us feel as though we were their "world," loving, doting on, and yes, SPOILING, us❣️Dad and mom had us whenever they were young, and, "followed suit," by, leaving us, whenever, they were (too) young (in my opinion), also❣️However, I truly believe that, GOD makes NO mistakes❣️They were overprotective of us, especially, dad, and, losing their first born baby boy at birth, probably is largely to blame for this❣️💔 There was never any doubt that, both of them sincerely LOVED us, and, our families, and, would have done anything, within their power, and, DID - MANY TIMES, to express so, as long as they were ABLE❣️I could "sense" the, satisfaction and happiness, from each of them, oftentimes, whenever, they were BLESSING us, their, children and family❣️Oh, how I wish that, I'd fully understood, appreciated, and expressed to them that, I did greatly appreciate...the multitude of loving, gestures and deeds, with which, they showered me/us❣️Back then, I THOUGHT that,  I was doing this, but, upon retrospective reflection, I did not express this to them enough❣️They deserved A LOT more recognition for ALL of these wonderful acts of love, with which, they BLESSED me/us❣️They were SO HAPPY, whenever, they were GIVING/BLESSING US, and, others❣️💖 I only hope that, whenever, we're all back together again, in Heaven, I'll have the opportunity to sincerely THANK each one of them for, loving, and, for the MANY expressions of that love, in which, they gave me/us, while we were living life back here on earth❣️That is my plan, anyway❣️😘 And, maybe, hopefully, they can read this post, and/or, hear me, whenever, I, talk and pray, about this❣️I was always proud of my "COOL," young parents❣️They were also very likable, which, I took for granted, growing up, but, now, appreciate❣️💜 I haven't been seeing many Cardinals lately, unlike I did right after, uncle Gene's, and then, two years later, mother's, deaths❣️💔🐦 Both of my parent's lives "seem like" "blinks of the eye," to me❣️I simply cannot fathom that, they are both deceased❣️I'll miss them, and, my many other loved ones, the rest of my life, for, their absences have left a gigantic "hole in my heart," because, the love, in which, we shared, was equally gigantic❣️💔🙏🏼 However, yesterday morning, upon pulling out of the driveway, to head to 'Sunday School, and, CHURCH, after STRUGGLING all a.m. to get ready, a "GODWINK," occurred, whenever, a quick, vibrant RED (male), lovely CARDINAL, flew directly in front of me, flying over and across the road, like MANY times previously (abnormally OFTEN - especially, after uncle Gene's death)❣️🐦❤️ I thanked my LORD several times, because, I KNOW that, HE sent that little "red feathered messenger," for me to see, and, to convey to me that, HE, and, my loved ones (particularly, my parents, about whom, have been very strongly in my thoughts, and, about which, this post is "speaking" / honoring), who, are now with HIM, LOVE "lil ole ME"❣️😃☺️🙌🏼✝️ In some ways, about certain things, my parents, almost cared too much (if, this is possible)❣️And, although, them being like this, sometimes, "got on my nerves," I'd rather that, they had been this way, than, not having cared enough, and, having had neglected us❣️The fact that, they are both GONE is surreal, and, has me feeling like an "ORPHAN," "of sorts" (the only way, in which, I can describe it)❣️I am SO thankful to have the GIFT of knowing that, my parents, and, close loved ones, who have "passed over," ALL professed to being born again, Christian, Believers❣️And, I witnessed my parents spiritual growth "in The Lord," throughout our years of "doing LIFE together," for which, I am also, extremely grateful❣️✝️ You know, God takes HOW we treat our parents very seriously, whether, they are "godly," or not (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16, Proverbs 20:20, 30:17, Luke 18:20e, Leviticus 20:9, ETC.)❣️👫 Ya know, I honestly tried to love, honor, respect, etc., my parents, while they were living, however, as I retrospectively analyze this entire matter, presently, now that, they are both deceased, I "see" them differently than I did, whenever, they were alive, and, I also "SEE" that, I could have done MUCH BETTER, honoring them❣️HINDSIGHT TRULY IS 20/20❣️😔😘🙏🏼 WHO my parents were, and, MOST of all, what they DID, as adults, was truly motivated by their LOVE for US (Tina, me, our families, and, their other loved ones)❣️I suppose that, the LIFE LESSON, in which, I learned, concerning the subject of this post, and, with which, I desire to convey to, and, encourage, you, to consider and hopefully, apply to LIFE, IS:  LOVE, CHERISH, RESPECT, HONOR, ETC., TO THE BEST OF ONE'S ABILITY, OR EVEN BETTER WITH THE SUPERNATURAL ASSISTANCE OF THE LORD, THE PEOPLE, WHOM, GOD HAS PROVIDENTIALLY PUT IN ONE'S LIFE, BECAUSE, THEY MAY NOT BE HERE TOMORROW, FOR ONE TO DO SO, AND, THEREFORE, NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE REGRET OF KNOWING THAT, ONE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER❣️🙏🏼 In the words of Khlil Gibran..."Ever has it been that LOVE knows NOT its not own DEPTH UNTIL the hour of SEPARATION‼️" 😔💔🙏🏼 The song, in which, Garth Brooks sings, 'If Tomorrow Never Comes,' came to my mind, while writing this post❣️I desire for the people, whom, God has placed in my life, to not doubt that, I love, appreciate, and the such, them, although, it seems to me that, I FAIL miserably at this❣️I realize that, I've written about this subject matter A LOT lately, probably due to the recent death of my loving mother, but, I do not apologize, because, I strongly believe that, it is critically important, for many reasons❣️😘☺️🙏🏼 💚 Our parents, and, ALL of the other people, whom, GOD has strategically placed in our lives, are put in our lives - by HIM, as an important part of HIS magnificent plan, and, therefore, it is BEST for everyone concerned that. each one of us, make the conscientious decision to "make the BEST" out of each of our personal, connections and circumstances, regarding this❣️😘☺️🙏🏼🖤 As, I close out this post, I'm looking out my back patio door window, reciting "word for word" 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (I've been "clinging" to this Scripture lately), seeing mother's pretty Hummingbird feeder (I brought it home, and, hung it, from her apartment, whenever, we were cleaning it out, after her "passing."  She LOVED Hummingbirds 🐦❤️)❣️I also, PRAY, as I recite these comforting, powerful, WORDS of GOD❣️And, I'm, RESTING and completely trusting, in them...(at this time, prior to the first holiday season of my life without my DEAR mother), with, tears flowing down my cheeks, and, PAIN in my "heart"...'REJOICE EVERMORE'...'PRAY WITHOUT CEASING'...'IN EVERY THING GIVE THANKS, FOR THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS CONCERNING YOU'❣️❣️📖🕊🙏🏼✝️🙌🏼🖤...LET'S, CHOOSE, TO ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS (even loving the "difficult" people, whom, The Good Lord, has placed in our lives - to somehow make us better)❣️💚...'MERRY CHRISTMAS' to ALL❣️🎄❤️...👋🏼...until next post...