'Paying the Price VS. Regret'

🖤🎹🎼🎶 PIANIST (I am, basically, a self taught one - except for a couple years of lessons - back in grade school - around -1st./2nd. grade / (?) age)❣️ 🎹🖤 For the past twenty four years, I have, intermittently, played the piano at various churches, whenever, I was needed, and, The Lord impressed on my "heart" to do so, always, in HIS name, and, for HIS, honor and glory❣️Furthermore, I have enjoyed, and, been BLESSED, by doing so (1 Corinthians 10:31)❣️Throughout the past twelve years, I have been the pianist at my home church, on and off, until I regrettably, "stepped down," a year or so ago, due to various, personal reasons, but, predominantly, because of symptoms attributed to having 'Degenerative Disc Disease,' which, has caused (progressively more intense) chronic, BACK and body, PAIN. 😔 This was a very, heavy and difficult, situation and decision, for me, especially, due to being a "RECOVERING - PEOPLE PLEASER," being concerned about, whether or not, people understood, but, mostly because, our church needed a piano player❣️😔😏😢 I am not that good on the piano, but, I love to play, and, I've tried to be available for God to use me with it❣️😏😘🎹✋🏼🤚🏼🙏🏼 However, most importantly, my LORD, knows my heart, knows me, and, has given me PEACE with my decision to "step-down"❣️Thankfully, around five months ago, God blessed my church with a new pastor, whose, wife is an accomplished pianist❣️He's proving to be a wonderful "under shepherd," and, praise The Lord, his wife, loves playing the piano for Jesus, both, of whom, are divine answers to some of my majorly important (personal) PRAYERS❣️❣️ THANK YOU - JESUS❣️❣️✝️🙌🏼🙏🏼😃 Anyway, they've been on vacation the past week.  And, she asked me to cover playing the piano for her, which means playing for several services.  In spite of the pain (which, I know shall result from doing so), anxiety (in which, I have been battling - the past couple years), knowing that, my playing at church is sure to be "RUSTY," and, other, reasons and excuses (provided by, self and demons), to be hesitant, I said that, "I'd most certainly TRY to play⁉️"  So far, God has helped me to "getter done" (Ha!), and, I trust that, HE'LL help me to get through ALL day (Sunday School, a.m. + p.m., services) this coming Sunday (this will not be posted on my blog until the following Friday)❣️🙏🏼🙌🏼💜  I was right about the various, reasons and excuses, in which, I was tempted to tell her, "no," however, I 💖 playing (serving any way I can) for my PRECIOUS  JESUS❣️I'll try and remember to inform ya'll as to whether or not, I was able to MAKE myself finish the attempt❣️🤣🎹🙌🏼💜 I realize that, although, I am helping them, by easing one of their concerns caused by them being gone from our church, one of the reasons, in which, she asked me to play, was to, encourage and "resuscitate," me❣️You see, she knows that, I have been struggling (with "burn-out," etc.), since, even before we met (I've been in a "rut," the past couple years, as you, faithful readers of my blog, know)❣️I am, thankful and grateful, that, she cared enough about the, church and me, to have asked me❣️ So, "THANK YOU," dear pastor's wife❣️💝 I am not ashamed to, say and/or write, that, I AM PROUD OF MYSELF, for LETTING JESUS help me to, not only, say that, "I'll try," but, also, for choosing to NOT LET the demonic  "DISCOURAGERS" (anxiety, dread, lethargy, lack of desire and motivation, etc.), cause me to CHOOSE to get out of ACTUALLY playing (so far - anyway), for these services❣️I, sincerely, hope and pray, that, by me sharing this, and, other personal stories of experiences, in which, God has used in my life, you'll be, encouraged and motivated, to do God's will, in your life, too❣️🙏🏼💝✝️💞💞 Oftentimes, on our "FAITH journeys," we need to MAKE ourselves - CHOOSE to DO (even, whenever, we think that we can't) the RIGHT thing, TRUSTING that, as we take the first step, and, every step thereafter, The Lord, SHALL, grace, strengthen, empower, bless, ETC., us❣️I must write that, the times, in which, I have succeeded with this - it is strictly because - HE HAS NEVER FAILED ME❣️❣️🙌🏼🙏🏼✝️💜 However, the multitude of times, in which, I have FAILED, in LETTING HIM help me, in choosing to DO, and in, literally DOING, the RIGHT thing, every time, without exception, has left me, with REGRET‼️ And, I absolutely HATE feeling REGRETFUL, especially, whenever, I COULD have "felt" SATISFACTION‼️‼️😏😔 So here's my LIFE LESSON (#1 - for this post):  "I HAVE LEARNED THAT, I'D RATHER EXPERIENCE THE "SUFFERING, ETC.," WHICH, COMES FROM DOING GOD'S WILL, RATHER THAN, THE KIND THAT, IS A RESULT OF - DISOBEDIENCE‼️‼️" 😕😘📖🙏🏼✝️🕊🙌🏼 Playing the piano, and, singing, here at home, has always been therapeutic for me, so, I've never quit doing that.  Sometimes, there are longer periods of time, in-between, my "home musical therapy sessions," than, other times, though, depending upon what is going on in my life - "at any given time."  So, after, David and I (respectively), resigned as "interim pastor," and, pianist, there were longer than usual time periods, whenever, I simply did not "feel like," having "home piano therapy sessions"❣️The most significant part of these sessions, is that I, praise and worship, my LORD❣️🙌🏼🙏🏼✝️💖 My future - concerning, "tickling the ivories," and, singing praises to JESUS, is up to HIM, and, his plan for me❣️I am listening to HIS, WORD and SPIRIT, ready and willing, to obey HIM, with confidence in HIM, that, HE'LL, lead and assist, me, as I take, one step at a time, walking farward - by FAITH, with my "eyes" on JESUS❣️I have some, plans and dreams, but, IF, they are not in correlation with HIS perfect will for me, then, I'll gladly - LET them go❣️ I trust that, as I LET HIM - reveal and enable, me, to accomplish the DESTINY, in which, HE has for me, I'll also, FINALLY find, fulfillment and satisfaction, with my walk, in this earthly realm❣️ And, HE'LL be, glorified and honored, in a myriad of ways, from it❣️I began writing this post on Friday, and, it is now Sunday.  I am thankful to The Lord, to report to you that, HE helped me in, LETTING HIM help me, and then, helped me, with the actual playing, in all of the services, in which, I was asked to, fill-in, and, play❣️PTL❣️ALL glory goes to GOD❣️Let me also tell you that, my playing was very "RUSTY"‼️🎹🎶🤣 Oh well, I was AVAILABLE to serve The King of Kings, although, my ABILITY was "WANTING"‼️ There were times throughout the past week and a half that, I "FELT" like, I wasn't going to be able to make myself do it, whenever, I would "listen" to the "DEMON of ANXIETY and/or BACK, etc. PAIN"‼️ But, I would pray, and, speak various Scriptures, such as:  2 TIMOTHY 1:7, PHILIPPIANS 3:14, and, others, and, HE, somehow, got me through it‼️📖🙏🏼✝️🙌🏼🕊💞💞 NOW, it is Monday morning, and, my back, and, many other symptoms connected to my back (DDD), are messed up - even worse than I figured (based on my past experiences with my back) they would be‼️ Nevertheless, I have satisfaction, in knowing that, I fulfilled my obligation, and, more importantly, served JESUS, WHOM, I love SO MUCH, also, knowing that, I love HIM, because, HE first loved me (1 JOHN 4:19)❣️✝️🙌🏼📖🕊💜 LIFE LESSON (#2):  WHENEVER, I choose to DO something that, I know I should DO, NO matter how DIFFICULT it may be, I'm happier with myself, during and afterward, than, I am, whenever, I "WIMP OUT," choosing NOT to DO it (whatever given thing it is), which, leaves me feeling REGRETFUL‼️☺️😏😘🖤 And, believe me, whenever, I write that, I've had PLENTY of practice, with both of these scenarios (succeeding and failing with these)‼️ Let's consider the following truth from 'The Gospel Daily' (via 'Twitter'):  "The PRICE of DISCIPLINE is always LESS than the PAIN of REGRET"❣️ 🤔😘📖🙏🏼✝️🕊💜...👋🏼...until next post...