'The Tough Case That I Am'

🤔 It dawned on me the other day - the reason WHY - GOD - my loving, Heavenly Father - has allowed - and/or - even - SENT - several - very TRYING - situations and circumstances - to me - throughout my life!  And, the answer is - because - I NEEDED THEM!! 😏  You see, although, I have always - been sensitive, loved people, tried to be kind to people, tried to do unto others as I'd have them do unto me, and the such...I have also - always - been ornery, loved to - have fun, laugh, make people laugh, etc., not to mention that - just like every other human being - who has ever lived, I was born - a 'SINNER' (unsaved, unregenerated, lost, etc.)! 🤗 I think that - there was also a NEEDINESS that - developed inside of me - mainly - as a result of - my father - having a "drinking" problem, which caused me to begin searching - at a pretty young age - for something to fill up the vacuum that - was created whenever - alcohol took my daddy - essentially - away from me (emotionally).  Don't get me wrong, my dad was a wonderful person, however, he had some issues with which he dealt in his life. 😞  I think now - in retrospect - that the combination of things that - were going on inside of my psyche, and, around me - throughout my childhood - was - confusing - to write the least! 😝 But, at any rate, GOD has made it clear to me that - I need to deal (let HIM help me) with - ALL - of these things - because - it is going to take HIM - using - ALL of them - to work out the "junk," and deal with - the "mess" in which life has made me!  I have really tried to let HIM assist me in dealing with my issues throughout the years - as HE would bring them to my attention - in all sorts of ways. 😫 So, in the past, presently, and even - into the future - while God is allowing, and/or, sending tests - in various forms - in order to make me more "Christ-like," HE is also, allowing satan to bring - trials, temptations, tribulations, etc., (John 10:10, 1 Peter 5:8, Ephesians chapter 6) into my life...only to also use them - somehow - (it is "easy-peasy" for HIM) for HIS "ultimate GOOD!" 🙌🏼 Satan's desire concerning - anything with which he comes against me - is to - steal, kill, destroy, etc.! 👹 With any of these "tests," IF, I am not "Spirit-filled," at that particular - testing time, I'll, most likely, fail the test, however, IF, I am filled with 'The Spirit,' 🕊and, "walking in the spirit," 🕊 then, I'll probably - pass the test, which honors and glorifies my "Daddy," and, helps me in becoming more like Christ (Galatians 5:16+17, 24+25). 🙏🏼✝️🙌🏼 Whenever, I fail any of these tests, eventually, I'll have to retake that specific one - again and again - until - I finally pass! 😏 Anyway, back to the point of this post...concerning the fact that - I recently had the realization that - due to ME being - rotten, ornery, needy, and, just a - 'sinner' (practically) - 'saved' by the glorious GRACE of GOD (in Christ Jesus) (positionally), my omniscient 'Lord,' knows that - I need certain - difficult, frustrating, limiting, discouraging, etc. - tests, trials, temptations, etc. - to assist me in staying on the "straight and narrow road," to humble, teach, train, etc. - me, to be equipped - so that - I may effectively minister to other people - with empathy, compassion, humility, sensitivity, etc., and, for other reasons, too. 😇 I find it funny, sad, interesting, sweet, ironic, etc., that - 'The Lord,' knows that - I need SO MUCH help - in order for HIM to - work the sinfulness out of me, and, make it really hard for me to - completely backslide - or even - behave the way that I once did (dabbling in sin - playing games with my spirituality, etc.), and the such (James chapter 1)! 😳 I must remember - to choose - to count it ALL - JOY!! 🙏🏼🙌🏼 I also think - it's endearing that - HE must love me tremendously - considering the persistence with which HE continues to give me the - discipline, chastisement, attention to detail, pressure, etc. - in addition to - ALL of the phenomenally - good and accommodating - supernatural - helps, tools, gifts, etc. - in which HE gave me - at the time of my conversion/rebirth (whenever I got 'saved')! 🙌🏼💜 HE'S a SPECTACULAR GOD! 🙌🏼✝️🙌🏼 Two of the funniest (to me) examples of this matter about which I am writing - are:  (#1) The man in whom HE chose for me to marry - has MANY good qualities, however, a couple of his - main personality characteristics - "just happen to be" - two of my major - pet peeves (hehehe!)! 😩😂💜 🙏🏼 (#2) Although, I sincerely consider it an honor - to have been chosen by GOD - to be a 'preacher's wife' - there are LOTS of challenging things (including a few more of my pet peeves) that - accompany being one! 🤣 Undoubtedly - GOD does have a sense of humor! 😬 HE has a way of revealing to us - what is inside us - or - who we really are! 😕 For example - I never knew just how mean I could be - until I got married! 🤣 Anyway - I don't know if I'm adequately conveying exactly what I am desperately attempting to express with this post?! 😗  So, I'll write it bluntly...GOD evidently knows - not only - my good characteristics (after all - HE created me), BUT, also - how incredibly EVIL that - I am capable of being, therefore, HE ALLOWS - entrance into my life - WHATEVER - HE knows - is needed - to MAKE me into - WHO HE - created and desires - me to be! Being such a "tough case" has caused me to depend on HIM - A LOT (HIS - WORD, SPIRIT, and, prayer, etc.)!  My success - as a Believer - is entirely dependent upon HIM! ✝️ 😰HE never desires to HURT me, although, at times, I may wonder about that! 🤔 Sometimes, I "feel" like - the little kid - who is made to go - up on the porch, and, sit on her poppa's lap - rocking with him - in the rocking chair - watching the rest of his children play - because - she kept disobeying him (running out in street - chasing puppies - or whatever the case - without looking for oncoming traffic, etc.).  Therefore - for her own "good"/well being - he has her constrained (purposefully - teaching her very valuable lessons) - hopefully - temporarily! 😑 And, although she dislikes being there - unable to "do her own thing," her father has only her best interest - "in mind," and, his disciplinary actions with her - are motivated by - his superior wisdom to hers - and - his reckless love for her! 😘 I have to remind myself of - these and other Biblical TRUTHS - OFTEN, so that, I don't lose hope in myself, and, give up (Hebrews 12:3, Proverbs 13:12)! 😏📖✝️ Therefore, please, be encouraged, in that, since God - loves and is using - me (the tough case that I am), then, HE also loves you, and, desires for you to receive Christ as your Savior (if you have not), and - HE'LL use you, too (if HE'LL use me - HE'LL use ANYONE - for HIS - HONOR, GLORY, and KINGDOM'S - sake)! 😉☺️😊✝️🙌🏼🙏🏼 Until next time...👋🏼💖