"Mysteriously Overwhelmed!"

     After living fifty four years on this earth, there's one thing of which I am certain, and that being;  GOD'S THOUGHTS AND WAYS ARE NOT MINE (supported by Isaiah 55:9), and for this fact, I am forever grateful!  Furthermore, HIS ways are more often than not...MYSTERIOUS (Ephesians 1:9)!  I see God's usage of mysterious methods very clearly whenever I consider many of the people whom HE chooses to represent HIM in 'The Ministry,' ESPECIALLY, MYSELF (1 Corinthians 1:27)!  A good example of this is, whenever David and I were married, almost thirty five years ago, I DID NOT know that he was going to be a PREACHER, and neither did he!  However, when he shared with me, a few years later, that God had spoken to his heart, and called him to preach, I was ignorantly excited!  I had NO idea of what lay ahead!  We were both SO happy to be "called" to serve Jesus, as a couple/family (Jeremy was about 3 years old, and C.C., around two)!  It was some years later that I began to obsess about how unqualified, unworthy, "un-preacher's wife type," etc. that I was, and I began wondering "WHY" HE had "chosen" me to be the wife of one of "HIS MEN!"  I honestly could not understand, and felt totally overwhelmed by all of it, as I have many times since then!  It was, and still is, a mystery to me!    Nevertheless, I must write that, it TRULY is a HUGE HONOR to represent, and serve, 'The King of Kings,' BUT, it is NOT an EASY endeavor!  However, when I "walk in the Spirit," instead of "walking in the flesh," the burden is much lighter (Galatians 5:16)!  Slowly, and gradually, it all began making more "spiritual sense" to me, as to why HE had put David and I together, about which I had been confident from the first time we talked on the phone, and he asked me out!  I said, "no," because I already had plans to go on a double date with one of my best girlfriends, Diane, and her boyfriend, with a guy/blind date with whom they had fixed me up, for that following night!  Anyway, we talked on the phone that night for a LONG time, and, in my 'spirit,' I KNEW that he was the man whom God had sent me, as the answer to my prayer!  I had been praying since the day that I had rededicated my life to 'The Lord,' for HIM to let me know with whom he wanted me to spend my life in marriage, and for him to be someone who loved HIM, and desired to live for HIM, too!  I'll share in more detail about our connection in another 'blog post,' someday!  It's a pretty cool story, "in my humble opinion."  Throughout the past 31 years of being "in the ministry," repeatedly, God has shown and reminded me that, I am 'saved' by HIS GRACE, and it is through faith in Christ, alone, and this ministry "platform" is ONLY to be used for HIS exaltation,  and NOT mine (Ephesians 2:8)!  It amazes me that HE has CHOSEN "little ole me" to be on HIS team's "coaching staff," you might say!" Ha!!  My precious 'Nanny,' my maternal grandmother, always said, "God makes NO mistakes, Kimberly" (Ephesians 1:4)!  I didn't comprehend completely, and/or, believe what she was trying to convey with those words, however, the older that I get, and the more "spiritually" mature I become, I realize how incredibly "deep," Biblically correct, that I'm in agreement with her on this, and how wonderfully comforting it is to know that, HE truly NEVER makes a mistake in what HE causes to happen, and/or allows, to happen!  Another thing about which I am certain concearning God and 'HIS Calling' of me to be a 'preacher's wife,' is that, HE HAS to have a gigantic "sense of humor!"  Ha!  Anyone who has known me throughout my life, would have to agree with me on this!  I'm a "goofball!"  I love to have fun, and to LAUGH!  Here's a little "golden nugget" for whoever needs it...IF, God has "chosen," and desires to "use" me, and HE has, then, HE can "use" ANYONE, and HE shall, IF, one says, "yes" to HIS call (HIS, Salvation, and service)!  HE CHOOSES AND CALLS EVERY INDIVIDUAL soul to HIS GREAT SALVATION!  However, HE gives us "free will," so that, each of us may CHOOSE whether or not we CHOOSE HIM (by receiving CHRIST JESUS - Him, His sinlessness, death, burial and resurrection/'The Gospel' / Romans 10:9+10)!  For those who DO receive HIM, HE has specific, personalized gifts, giftings, callings, etc.!  For example; I am called to be a 'preacher' wife,' and specifically, an 'evangelist's wife,' although I have functioned in the 'youth pastor's wife,' 'pastor's wife, and other positions/capacities, at different times throughout our years of ministry.  I ENJOY, am gifted, function at my best, and, am highly graced by God, etc., whenever I am ministering in the position of an 'evangelist's wife,' BECAUSE, that is my calling!  Serving in those other 'preacher's wive's' capacities, has helped me in various ways, especially, to mature/grow up 'in The Lord,' and to see 'The Church' in many perspectives, ETC.!  I LOVE, enjoy, am motivated to be ALL God desires me to be, etc., whenever I am serving in the position/calling of an 'evangelist's wife,' but, whenever I am serving in those other "capacitiess," I am very burdened, have a heaviness upon me, and am unmotivated, overall.  I truly believe that God gives us a special LOVE, GRACE, touch, etc., that is ABUNDANT, whenever we are DOING exactly what HE has called each of us individually, and/or, as a couple or a family, to DO!  Once again, as an example;  yes, I am called to be a 'preacher's wife,' and specifically, an 'evangelist's wife' (because my husband is called to be an evangelist), and whenever we are ministering (as individuals and as a couple) in in the evangelistic capacity, we are living at our personalized, best, etc. life, and God's Spirit, Grace, Word, etc. is freely flowing through us to other people!  However, during the times when I serve in other capacities as a 'preacher's wife,' such as;  ''youth pastor's,' 'Gideon's,' 'assistant pastor's,' teacher's, 'pastor's, WIFE,' I do not ENJOY them in the blessed way that I do as an 'evang. wife,' therefore, I'm not as motivated to do my best for 'The Lord,' and consequently, do not! Thankfully, I've gleaned A LOT from ALL of it (the good and the bad)!  I pray that each of you CHOOSE CHRIST for 'Salvation,' then, LET HIM reveal HIS individualized, personalized, CALL and PLAN that HE has for you, and then, that you step out in faith, and, step by step, OBEY HIM-IMMEDIATELY!..."Trust and obey...for there's NO other way...to be happy in Jesus... than to TRUST and OBEY!"...until next time...