"Their Judgments"

     "Not being able to DO as much as others, does NOT make you a failure!  -author unknown.  I read this on a 'Facebook,' "Lupas awareness support page," post, this a.m., and could passionately relate!  In a society that often equates BUSYNESS with "SUCCESS," a person who is physically limited, may find "herself" "feeling" like a "failure," IF, she "LISTENS" to MOST of the voices with which she is being bombarded, including her own!  Often, physical labor/work/busyness DOES contribute to a person's success, and vice versa, however, delegating responsibilities and other "wise"choices, may, and/or, may not, also! Until I was around the age of 27, I was physically ABLE to DO pretty much anything that I needed and/or wanted to DO, up until 'Degenerative Disc Disease' came and attacked my body, and specifically my lower BACK! That is when a slow, gradual, frustrating decline from what I HAD BEEN ABLE to DO, started.  I have fought it in MANY ways throughout the years, minus surgically, which I continue to purposely try to avoid, otherwise, I'd probably be immobile now!  I am however, open to surgery, IF, 'The Lord,' makes it VERY clear to me that HE is in it, and HE gives me 'PEACE' about it!  I am trusting that HIS healing power IS working in me, and that, HE continually is leading me to experience the complete manifestation of the healing of it, and my entire 'being,' at HIS perfect time, and in HIS perfect way, which may be when I get to 'Heaven!?'  This entire situation probably would be less challenging for me, IF I had not been so physically capable and strong before the back injuries!?  I cannot DWELL upon what I am no longer ABLE to DO physically, anymore, but rather, I try to prioritize what I CAN DO, and LET GOD grace me with HIS Spirit and power, letting go of what I cannot. Being less active physically has encouraged me to be more engaged in mental, spiritual, etc. endeavors.  This state in which I find myself has taught me MANY things, such as;  God is more concerned about the MOTIVES OF MY HEART (WHY I do, or not do, things), than HE is about what I 'physically' do, and, to have empathy toward people who are hurting in various ways - because I have experienced similar types of hurt, etc.  Having empathy, which IS one of the virtues that my troubles are teaching me, is one of many important qualities which is helpful for a 'preacher's wife' to possess! Chronic pain is not only limiting, it is also exhausting!  It was meant for me to see that 'FB' post this morning for a few reasons, one being that, it ministered to, and encouraged me, another being that, it confirmed the subject matter for this blog entry.  I've always loved to "DO" good gestures (in Jesus' name) to be a blessing to people, but, having chronic pain has dampered this for me, so, I've tried to continue doing encouraging deeds that I am still able to do (praying for people, sending them cards, gifts, etc.).  Nevertheless, I constantly have to cast OUT bad thoughts about myself, such as, that I don't SERVE others enough, etc.!  GOD knows my heart's motives, and HE reminds me that there are countless ways to be HIS servant!  I deal with feelings of guilt for thinking that I haven't DONE enough, and that I am not enough, frequently!  Being a 'preacher's wife' is an HONOR, however, it intensifies this battle, within and around me, especially during the times when I've been in the position of being a 'pastor's wife!'  Parishioners, sometimes unintentionally, in various ways, LET the "PW" know IF they approve and/or disapprove of her performance, family, clothes, well, everything, or NOT!  I realize that a lot of all of this is 'spiritual warfare,' and it must be dealt with using "spiritual weapons!"  And, although this is true, in the heat of the REAL battles, sometimes I forget this!  'The Holy Spirit' is faithful to remind me, and I usually, eventually give it to HIM, and LET HIM GET ME "right" (Ro. 8:1)!  NONE of us "DO" enough, or "ARE" enough, to be accepted by God, except 'IN CHRIST,' anyway, right (Isaiah 64:6)!?  So, back to the point of this post!  If you are physically limited, handicapped, or have any kind of "disability," in any capacity, PLEASE KNOW that, you really only answer to GOD, that HE looks at "the heart," that there are many creative ways to serve and be a blessing to others besides 'physically' laborious actions, and that whether a person is "SUCCESSFUL," or not, is determined by GOD,etc.!  HE is always working, and using ALL things for HIS purposes (even our pain, limitations, etc.), ETC. (Romans ch. 8)!  Many people may gauge and judge whether or not people are successes or failures (in their opinions), and oftentimes they will label people who are "BUSY" as being "successful" simply because they are busy, but, their judgments are JUST that - "their judgments," and NOT the final verdict!  Some "laid back," quiet type people are privately very industrious, productive, and the such!  Who you believe to be a "success," I may see as a failure, due to our individual values, beliefs, etc.  Of course, as a 'Christian' woman, the Biblical references to Martha and Mary (sisters) come to my mind when I think about this subject matter!  Martha was a BUSY (outwardly) servant of her 'Lord,' and she "seemed" to get irritated by Mary's "laziness!"  However, Jesus perceived the situation quite differently than Martha!  He knew both of their hearts, first of all!  He also made it clear that physically serving HIM is good to DO, but, HE especially liked that Mary served HIM by worshipping and serving HIM differently than Martha, yet, more importantly, by putting HIM, HIS WORD, prayer, meditation, etc., FIRST!  Let's say hypothetically that, a person "LOOKS" 'SUCCESSFUL' in a "worldly" sense, but, GOD knows that "she" has an evil heart, then, is "she" REALLY a 'SUCCESS?' NO!  Or, let's say that, a given person is thought to be 'successful,' but, "she" is NOT "succeeding" at 'THE DESTINY' in which GOD had planned for her, because she has chosen to live life "her way," instead of obeying 'The Lord,' and, IF you could somehow "SEE" the whole picture, would you consider her a 'SUCCESS?'  I would NOT!  My MAIN POINT:  "The proof IS in the pudding," especially at 'The Judgment Seat of Christ!'  Word!